Few days back I was talking to a girl about marriage in twitter.she asked me to write something on that. But I don’t have any thoughts on writing them. But then after a day I saw a tweet about woman getting married after 30 and things she has to face. So that urged me to write few of my views on marriage system.
So early men used to live in caves and live just like animals. Eat, hunt, sleep repeat and if you reach the age where you can replicate other beings. Then eat, hunt, sleep, sex. Just like Animals ,Men can have sex with multiple women or vice-versa. There were no particular rules and traditions to have sex.
Early man used to fight for food. Like if they hunt something ,group of individuals or some groups used to fight for getting their share in that meat. It’s just the ‘survival of the fittest’. So what if the women or men likes the same person!? Then the problem starts. But there is not much a problem among women because again through rule of’ Survival of fittest’, only men used to face that problem. Maybe that the point where patriarchy has started.through dividing work and considering male gender is mighty gender because of physical prowess.
So if a woman is liked by two or three men. It would be a problem or even jealousy would have generated when one is roaming with the other. In that process they would have fought to win over a woman. As a sign of victory or belonging they would have tied some thread or worn a ring.so that when any other man or woman see,they can find out that they belong to someone. This is the initial stage of marriage.
From then the marriage took a lot of forms. As I am Indian let me talk about Indian arranged marriages. Everyone knows that parents see a bride or groom checking their salary, background, status,caste, religion etc. And Most of the women get married by the age 26 and men by the age of 29 (Talking about 21st century)This is like bet on life.you don’t know whom you will get. And it’s difficult to assess someone completely after a few talks or few meets. So it’s definitely risky. But it has its own pros too.
In India when you reach twenties the entire identity or the wholesomeness of your life will be judged through your marriage and children. So if you aren’t married people definitely judge you. They might say you are impotent or homosexual or characterless sometimes, or they abuse parents.
This is tough for men. And very tough for women. As women’s life can get real meaning only if she becomes mom according to religion or society. And society don’t care whether particular couple or particular individual in couple is happy or not. If they took a divorce then again the blame is mostly on women than men.
And these days many men and women are trying to achieve things in their life before getting married. It could be anything from climbing up the corporate ladder, establishing business or following their passion etc. But it takes time. They may reach thirties. Indian parents want their kids to get married before thirties. They call it SETTLEMENT.
Sometimes it really put the youth in risk.What’s the point in satisfying your partner without satisfying your own needs?? And then regret whole life which in turn effects your mental health and home environment in which kids grow.It’s all chain reaction of disappointments. So maybe parents should allow kids to achieve whatever they want and give freedom to marry whenever they find right person. I know it actually puts a lot of pressure on parents. That pressure was generally from relatives and society. Ironiclly they won’t even give rats ass when you are in deep marital troubles.so why bother them???
When any woman try to achieve something related to her pown passion or career after she has kids the society will say a lot of shit about her. Like “she isn’t mother enough, she isn’t a wife enough, she is selfish, she doesn’t care about family etc”While it is different for men. Infact they are even appreciated. Especially when women go to abroad for education after marriage. People go crazy.
So I think marriage should be the personal decision between two individuals. It should not be controlled by society, parents and relatives. Imagine you being with roommate who is sadistic, egosit,selfish prick.Don’t you change into other room or change the roommate!! Now imagine sharing your same roommate for the rest of the life? Scary right? Instead, it is better to take time and chose someone who better suits you than getting married young to suffer rest of the life.
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